this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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