R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize