Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
