She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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