I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
