I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
