Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
