we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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