Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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