You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
