Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize