i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
