Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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