woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
