Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My vagina is very pro this idea
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
