i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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