I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
