dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
