I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
