dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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