Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
