I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
