My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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