ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
