the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
