omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
