My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I wear drunk well.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
