well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
