Whod you bang
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
