well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
