so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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