Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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