Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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