are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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