The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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