careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
