Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
