So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
