How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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