There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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