when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
