Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
