Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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