Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
