That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
