I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
