K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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