Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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