Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
