So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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