I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize