i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
