After last night, I could never be a politician.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
