i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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