I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
