every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
