PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
