I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize