I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm always down for nudity.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
