Dual....:-)
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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