It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
