At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think people are normalizing furries
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
