Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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