spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize