i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
