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Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
