The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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