Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
