i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
